This album is very much a celebration of love, in all its complexity, coziness, and chaos. It’s the first album of mine that I’ve ever owned, and I couldn’t be more proud. I’m so excited that Lover is out NOW: taylorswift.lnk.to/Lover
I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.
guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?
me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792…..4?
me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.
me:
me: Yeah I usually just rely on muscle memory for it. Do you think you could get a keypad in here? That might be faster.
guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!
me: Okay, so this is super embarrassing. I know he told me his name when we first met but I forgot and at this point it would be weird if I asked him for his name again, right? So I just kind of go with “sir” whenever I have to talk to him. It might be David though. He looks like a David.
me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.
my boss: Wait, what?
me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.
boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?
me:
me: Good news, guys, I did not blow James’ cover!
Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?
Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.
Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.
